Jokes

In a cemetery

A sailor, after placing some flowers on a grave in a cemetery, noticed an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby grave, and asked, "What time do you expect your friend to come up and eat the rice?"

The old Chinese man replied with a smile, "Same time your friend come up to smell the flowers."

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You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way. The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane... only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"

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Surd-Times: This Year's Exam Paper

1. Write your name in less than 20 minutes and 20 letters. (only alphabets allowed, no numeric digits or "_" allowed)

2. Sex?
( ) Male
( ) Female
( ) Don't know

3. What's your age group?
( ) less than 0
( ) equal to 0
( ) greater than 0

4. What is 2 + 2?
( ) FOUR
( ) 4
( ) IV

5. If you have one brother, how many brothers does your brother have?
( ) none ( ) one ( ) question is too personal

6. Complete the following sentence. ______ ________ ________ _________ .

7. If there are 365 days in a year, how many days make a year?

8. If someone gives you a rupee for 100 paise, would you ( ) get One rupee? ( ) 100 paise?

9. Write an Essay on "MYSELF" in not more than three sentences....... (HINT : My Name is ___________ (same as in [1]). I am a ___ (boy/girl). I am writing an essay.)

10. If the time is 3.00 PM what does your digital watch show?

11. At what time does the 11.16 Indrani Express come?

12. What you do on a honeymoon?
( ) Collect Honey
( ) Admire Moon
( ) Collect Honey while admiring the moon

13. Is the Earth flat?
( ) False
( ) Indeed False

14. If A = B and B = C, is B = A?
( ) TRUE
( ) NOT FALSE
( ) OUT OF SYLLABUS

15. Think and write the present tense of THOUGHT.

16. Who was the first MAN to land on moon?
( ) MR. ARMSTRONG
( ) MISS ARMSTRONG
( ) MRS ARMSTRONG

17. What comes first?
( ) the Egg
( ) the Omlet

18. Can you count more than five using your hands?
( ) YES
( ) NO

19. Spell M-Y-T-H-O-L-O-G-Y

20. Mrs. Sinha is Mr. Sinha's
( ) Father
( ) Brother
( ) Son
( ) Daughter

21. Car A starts from X and car B starts from Y. X and Y are located 100 miles apart from each other. How many wheels does each car have?
( ) One ( ) Four ( ) Seven

22. To reach to the 12th floor of the World Trade Center, how many buttons would you press in the elevator?
( ) ONE ( ) TWELVE

23. Complete the following series:

1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, _, _, _.

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In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver of the car took the train company to court.

At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.

"Congratulations," the Florida lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."

"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."

"How's that?" the Florida lawyer asked.

"I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!"

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[Etusivu] [Jokes]

Päivitetty 19.10.2018 09:46
www.Jahuu.fi 2018