ECHO echo ....
A Yankee and a Scot were walking one day near the foot of one of the Scotch mountains. The Scot, wishing to impress the visitor, produced a famous echo to be heard in that place. When the echo returned clearly after nearly four minutes, the proud Scotsman, turning to the Yankee, exclaimed:|
"There, mon, ye canna show anything like that in your country."
"Oh I don't know," said the American, "I guess we can better that. Why, in my camp in the Rockies, when I go to bed I just lean out the window and call out, 'Time to get up; wake up!' and eight hours afterward the echo comes back and wakes me."
The old perfesser walked into the bar and joined a crowd of huge men lined up at the bar. He had a drink and then told the other guys that his wife had told him to come home after just one drink. Of course, the big guys all sneered and said, "What are you, a man or a mouse?"
"Heck fire, guys, I'm a man," the old perfesser said.
"What in the devil makes you so durned sure of that?"
"Well, I'll tell you," the old perfesser said. "My wife is scared of mice."
HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE ALIKE
1. Both keep moving...even when they are lost.
1. Dogs don't have problems expressing affection in public.
1. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
This guy was driving down the highway and was pulled over by the cops. The cop asked the man for his name and the guy replied, "Earl."
"You got a last name, Earl?"
"Nope. It's a long story, Officer."
"I got time." Earl sighs and says,
"Well, Officer, at first I was known as Earl Doo-Daa. I was going to school to become a doctor, and I did, so I was known as Earl Doo-Daa, MD. I got bored just being a doctor so I went to dental school, graduated, and became Earl Doo-Daa, M.D., D.D. After a little more time I fooled around with this girl and got VD. So I was known as Earl Doo-Daa, MD, DD, with VD. When the medical board found out about my VD they took away my MD so I was known as Earl Doo-Daa, DD with VD. The dentistry board also found out about the VD and took away my DD making me Earl Doo-Dah with VD. Finally, the VD took away my Doo-Dah so now I'm just Earl."
A huge half-drunk thug walks into a bar and shouts, "you all on the left side of the bar are cocksuckers and you all on the right side are motherfuckers."
Suddenly a man ran from the right to the left side of the bar.