Jokes

CHAIN LETTER FOR WOMEN ONLY

This letter was started by a woman like yourself in the hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discontented women.

Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five friends who are equally frustrated, then bundle up your husband or boyfriend, and send him to the woman who's name appears at the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom of this list.

When your name comes to the top of the list, you will receive 16,887 men...one of them is bound to be a hell of a lot better than the one you already have.

Do not break the chain. One woman broke the chain and got her own husband back.

At this writing, a friend of mine already received 184 men. She was buried her yesterday, but it took three undertakers 86 hours to get the smile off her face, and two days to get her legs together so they could close the coffin.

Hurry up and send this letter along, so my name can move up fast!

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WHAT A WOMAN SAYS:
Cmon...This place is a mess!
You and I need to clean.
Your pants are on the floor
and you'll have no clothes
if we don't do laundry now!

WHAT A MAN HEARS:
C'MON....blah, blah, blah
YOU AND I blah, blah, blah
blah, blah ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW!

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Here's to the Jury!!

A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."

He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."
The jury foreman replied: "Oh, we did look, but your client didn't."

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3 Ministers

A Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist pastor along with their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.

First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the Methodist. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy."

The Baptist turned to his wife and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Fanny."

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Top 10 Signs Your Co-Worker Is A Computer Hacker

10. Everyone who ticks him off gets a $26,000 phone bill.

9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running.

8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.

7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.

6. Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work.

5. Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeeez!" 295 times during the movie "The Net."

4. Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments.

3. His video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons.

2. Instead of the "Welcome" voice on AOL, you overhear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."

And the Number One sign your co-worker is a computer hacker...

1. You hear her murmur, "Let's see you use that VISA now, Professor I-Don't-Give-A's-In-Computer-Science!"

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[Etusivu] [Jokes]

Päivitetty 19.10.2018 10:03
www.Jahuu.fi 2018