WOMEN'S T-SHIRT SAYINGS
DON'T PISS ME OFF! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.|
GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE....WHO CARES?
NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES
I HATE EVERYBODY, AND YOU'RE NEXT
PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU
AND YOUR POINT IS?
I'M BUSY. YOU'RE UGLY. HAVE A NICE DAY
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT
REMEMBER MY NAME...YOU'LL BE SCREAMING IT LATER
YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME <~~ HEEHEE
DON'T WORRY. IT'LL ONLY SEEM KINKY THE FIRST TIME.......
WHY DO PEOPLE WITH CLOSED MINDS ALWAYS OPEN THEIR MOUTHS?
I'M MULTI-TALENTED: I CAN TALK AND PISS YOU OFF AT THE SAME TIME
YOU, ME, WHIPPED CREAM, HANDCUFFS.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP
ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE
I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.
IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY
NOBODY KNOWS I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR
The Art Museum
A young couple Wilier and Kay, were exploring the exhibits at the new Paul Getty Museum in Los Angeles one Sunday afternoon, when they came upon the museum's famous collection of Eighteenth-Century French Impressionist Art.
Suddenly Wilbur, unfamiliar as he was with the fine points of the period, came across a well-known painting which he mistakenly thought
was an example of pointillism. He immediately called his wife over and naively exclaimed, ... "Kay, Seurat! Seurat!"
She took one bored look at the painting and replied, ... "Whatever, Wilby, Wilby."
For Sale--Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.
A West Virginia State trooper pulls over a pick-up on I-79. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "Bout what?"
A Polish lad married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."
The lawyer said that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: Have you any grounds?
THINGS MOMS WOULD NEVER SAY
"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"
"Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"
"Just leave all the lights on...it makes the house look more cheery"
"Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week"
"Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"
"Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."
"The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."
"I don't have a tissue with me...just use your sleeve"
"Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve"