Jokes

Rivalry

Coke proceeded to build factories in many of the former Soviet states way before it's great rival, Pepsi got on the market there. So, when they opened their first factory in Georgia, the company decided to promote it as much as they could. Thus they proceeded to invite Eduard Shevarnadze, the president of the country for the celebration, and he agreed to be there.

The great day came, the first bottle of Coke was about to roll off from the assembly line, the president of the country, the national TV channel's cameras and reporters were all there. The first bottle arrives, they open it, and hand it to Mr. Shevarnadze. He picks it up, sips some, with the whole country watching, and with a smile which cheers the heart of Coke's marketing manager he says "Great taste ... just like Pepsi!"

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It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams, "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this? I haven't made the porridge yet!!"

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"If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following.

There would be:

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south
8 Africans

52 would be female
48 would be male

70 would be non-white
30 would be white

70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian

89 would be heterosexual
11 would be homosexual

6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the United States

80 would live in substandard housing

70 would be unable to read

50 would suffer from malnutrition

1 would be near death;
1 would be near birth

1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer

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THE STUDENT MIND DURING A FINAL EXAM
the last thoughts, and percentages of brain capacity

* 10% The prof. never covered this section!
* 10% Actual knowledge on the subject.
* 10% The T.A.'s kinda cute!
* 10% I knew I should have read the book!
* 10% Soon this will all be behind me!
* 10% I hope the curve is really low!
* 10% PANIC ZONE!
* 10% Prayers for a miracle flood, fire, tornado, hurricane, earthquake...etc...
* 10% Eeny, meeny, miny moe...
* 10% Summer break!

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A man goes into a bar very thirsty. He sits down waiting for the bartender to see him. The man next to him calls for the bartender saying, "I'll have another waterloo."

The bartender gives him a tall ice cold drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Wanting to try this new drink he says "I'll have a waterloo too." The bartender gives him a tall ice cold drink.

He takes a big drink and says "HEY! This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!"

The man next to him looks at the bartender and says "Well, it is water...right Lou?

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A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck.

"Where's Henry?"

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?"

"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry."

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Päivitetty 19.10.2018 10:04
www.Jahuu.fi 2018