Jokes

California

Dear Mom,

January 2000

Moved to Silicon Valley for a job.
My salary is 30% higher!
I have stock options!
The temperature outside is 65F in winter!
California is the best place on earth!!!

February

Still looking for an apartment.
Freeways everywhere to take you places.
Still love California!

March

Found a 1 bedroom apartment for $1900/mo.
California is more expensive than I thought.

April

Gas hit $2.29/gal.
Somebody stole the gas from my car.
This sucks....

May

A small earthquake!
And this is what my mother was so worried about?
Almost didn't feel it.

June

A forest fire and a mud slide near LA.
Who cares, that is far away from me!

July

A big earthquake...
Spent 4 hours in my bathtub.
Boy, that was scary.
We had no stinking earthquakes where I came from.

August

Drought! They turn on the water once a day.
This sucks big time!
Somebody stole the water from my car's radiator.
Why did I come to California?

September

Decided to buy a house.
Found a 2-bedroom fixer- upper for $800K.
Borrowed against my stock options for down payment.
Freeway traffic is worse. Today it took nearly two hours. One way.

October

My startup fired 90% of the work force, including me.
The stock lost 98% of its value.
My options are underwater.

November

Had to sell my house. Couldn't make the payments.
Found a studio apartment for $2300/mo.
Traffic unbearable

December

Problems with electricity.
They turn the electricity off several times a day.
It's called "rolling blackouts."
Who stole my car battery, and what do I do now?

January 2001

I'm typing this, stuck in an elevator, in complete darkness. The battery of my laptop is dying.
Silicon Valley is no more. Angry hordes of former dot-commers are looting in the dark.

It was fun while it lasted.
I'm coming back home.

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Love is like a booger... You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

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Fourth-grader, Phillip, was an "A" student in arithmetic, but he was the worst speller in the class.
The teacher had him at the blackboard one day, trying to teach him to spell.
He was really having difficulty with a word when Jaquaida, one of his classmates blurted out, "Add an 'e', Phillip"
Frustrated, Phillip said, "I'm not adding... I'm spelling."

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- This is what is on a sign at a little restaurant.
"Eat here or we'll both starve"

- I have a neighbor, a urologist, with his license plate
"NOPCME" (no p c me)

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[Etusivu] [Jokes]

Päivitetty 19.10.2018 10:08
www.Jahuu.fi 2018