Jokes

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

An unemployed man goes to try for a job with Microsoft as a cleaner. The manager there arranges for an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping of ...).

After the test, the manager says: You will be appointed on the scale of $30 per day. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and advise you where to report for work on your first day. Taken aback, the unemployed man protests that he is neither in possession of a computer nor of an e-mail address.

To this the MS manager replies: Well, then, that really means that you virtually don't exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed.

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and only having about $10 left, he decides to buy a 10kg box of tomatoes at the supermarket.

Within less than 2 hours, he sells the tomatoes singly at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night. And thus it dawns on the man that he could quite easily make a living selling tomatoes.

Getting up early and earlier every day and going to bed later and later, he multiplies his hoard of profits in quite a short time. Not too long thereafter, he acquires a cart to transport several dozen boxes of tomatoes, only to have to trade it in again shortly afterwards on a pick-up truck. By the end of the first year, he is the owner of a fleet of pick-up trucks and manages a staff of several hundred former unemployed people, all selling tomatoes.

Considering the future of his wife and children, he decides to buy some life insurance. Calling an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. At the end of the telephone conversation, the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order that he might forward the documentation.

When the man replies that he has no e-mail, the adviser is stunned: What, you don't even have e-mail? How on earth have you managed to amass such wealth without the Internet, e-mail and e-commerce?

Just imagine where you would have been by now, if you had been connected from the very start!

After a moment's silence, the tomato millionaire replied: Sure! I would have been a cleaner at Microsoft!

Morals of the story:
1: The Internet, e-mail and e-commerce do not need to rule your life.
2: Get e-mail, if you want to be a cleaner at Microsoft.
3: If you don't have e-mail, but work hard, you can still become a millionaire.
4: Seeing that you got this story via e-mail, you're probably closer to becoming a cleaner than you are to becoming a millionaire.
5: If you do have a computer and e-mail, you're already being taken to the cleaners by Microsoft.

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Needing some clothes cleaned in a hurry, a man searched ths small Georgia town in which he was visiting until he found a sign which read:
"Cleaning and Pressing, 24-Hour Service."

After explaining his needs, he said, "I'll be back for my suit tomorrow."

"Won't be ready til Saturday," replied the proprietor.

"But I thought you had 24-hour service," the customer protested.

"We do, son," the proprietor said reproachfully. "But we only work eight hours a day. Today's Thursday - eight hours today, eight hours Friday, eight on Saturday. That's 24-hour service."

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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.

"Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, Mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful," said his mother.

A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

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The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Smith made it clear that he didn't want to spend a lot of money.

"No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."

"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"

Mr. Smith turned to his wife... "Show him your tooth, honey!"

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A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

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Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who went duck hunting?
A: He didn't get any because he couldn't throw the dog high enough.

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[Etusivu] [Jokes]

Päivitetty 19.10.2018 19:16
www.Jahuu.fi 2018