Jokes

Them danged Cajuns are at it again!

The Cajuns heard Saddam Hussein was going to help Osama bin Laden and they decided this is WAR! Saddam was sitting in his bunker when his telephone rang.

"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Boudreaux down at the Fred's lounge in Mamou, Looziannah. I'm callin' to tol you we be officially declarin' war on you!"

"Well, Boudreaux," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Rat now," said Boudreaux, (hesitating) "there is me, my cousin Thibadeaux, my nex' door neighbor Justain, and the whole bunch from the bar. That makes us eight!"

Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Boudreaux, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Woo-eee!" said Boudreaux. "I gots to call you back later!"

Sure enough, the next day, Boudreaux called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We got us some war equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Boudreaux?" Saddam asked.

"Well, we got us two combines, a dozer, and a farm tractor."

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Boudreaux, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1.5 million since we last spoke."

"E-yiee!" said Boudreaux. "I gots to get back to you later."

Sure enough, Boudreaux rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, da war still be on! We got ourselves some airborne! We've took Marcell's utra-light glider an we put us a shotgun in the cockpit, and Hebert gots out of jail today and he is gonna join our army too!"

Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Boudreaux, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites and since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Ah-yie-yie!" screams Boudreaux, "I gots ta call you back later."

Sure enough, Boudreaux calls again the next day. "Bon jour, Sad-damn! I so sorry I gots to toll you we is callin' off dis war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Boudreaux, "we all had a long talk at the bar and Sheriff Broussard he say no way he's gonna feed no two million prisoners."

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A Blonde goes over to her friends' house wearing a T.G.I.F. tee-shirt.

"Why are you wearing a Thank God it's Friday tee-shirt on Monday?"

"Oh no!" the blonde says, "I thought it meant Tits Go In Front."

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Grammar Lesson

Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".

Ellen: I is...

Teacher: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."

Ellen: All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

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Two rednecks were drinking beer and joy-riding when they spotted two Hispanic hitch-hikers at the side of the road. Zeke says to Jake, "Why don't we give them yahoos a scare? Act like you're going to run off the road and hit 'em."

Jake agrees and swerves in their direction, but he's had too much to drink and ran right over them. They both said, "Oh well, tough luck," and continued on their way.

A little while later, Jake says to Zeke, "I wonder where them guys was going?"

Without hesitation, Zeke replied, "Florida".

Jake asked him how he knew that and Zeke's response was, "Well, right after you hit them, I clearly heard one of 'em say something about Sunny Beaches..."

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Thanks, Dad!

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.

As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

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[Etusivu] [Jokes]

Päivitetty 19.10.2018 19:47
www.Jahuu.fi 2018