At the hospital
Two guys are in hospital beds next to each other.|
One guy is covered with bandages from head to toe. The other guy asks him, "What do you do for a living?"
"I used to be a window washer."
"And you decided to give it up?"
"Oh, about halfway down."
FUNNY HALLOWEEN QUOTES
"A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween."
- Erma Bombeck
"There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin."
- Linus from 'It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown'
"Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special."
- Chris Rock
"Nothing on Earth is so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night."
- Steve Almond
"On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me."
- Rodney Dangerfield
"This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him."
- Conan O'Brien
"Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting."
- Lorna Luft
"Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day."
- Gwen Stefani
"No," he answered. "I'm only after one thing."
As he walked toward the store, he heard her murmur, "Typical male."
I was flattered by the confusion, but my uncompromisingly honest nature prevailed and I corrected him, "Actually, my name is Maurizio."
V A C A T I O N
MrsPerfesser and I took a vacation, and what a hotel we stayed at! The towels were so big and fluffy, we could hardly close our suitcase!
- The Old Perfesser