The cowboy

Maury: "Pauly, do you want to know a really funny joke?"

Pauly: "From you? The unfunniest man on Earth?"

Maury: "Bear with me. A cowboy walks into a German car showroom and he know what he says?"

Pauly: "Guten tag?"

Maury: "No, he says, 'Audi!'"

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Brezhnev visited a factory. "How is your life, comrades?"

"It's good, comrade General Secretary."

"And do you want to live even better?"

"If you give us such a directive, we'll live even better."

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Q. Why did the skeleton cross the road?>
A. To go to the body shop.>
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A man from the province is walking around Moscow asking everyone:

"Where is this beautiful supermarket called 'PRINCIPLE'?"

Finally, a cop stops him and asks:

"What are you talking about? There is no such supermarket in Moscow!"

"No way!" replies the man in disbelief, "I heard with my own ears that Gorbachev said: IN PRINCIPLE, WE HAVE PLENTY OF FOOD!"

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Alligator's Teeth

A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian.

"What is it made of?" she asked.

"Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.

"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us."

"Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."

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Trick Or Treat

"Two men in George W. Bush masks robbed a bank in Washington.

Then a guy wearing a Dick Cheney mask accidentally shot them."

- Wendel Potter

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I am Napoleon!

Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"

Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!!!"

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A wish to live forever

I met a fairy today that said she would grant me one wish.

"I want to live forever," I said.

"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"

"Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress gets their heads out of their asses!"

"You crafty bastard," said the fairy.

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[Etusivu] [Jokes]

Päivitetty 28.10.2018 11:25 2023